I Remember It All Too Well

My title this week is from a Taylor Swift song. It's called "All Too Well". Her new album is quite amazing.
Today as I was talking to one of my close friends and I learned just how betrayed some people can make you feel. Not him, but other people who you try hard to be friends with. Last week when I explained how much has changed in high school, that wasn't to hurt anyone and it was certainly not something I think should be laughed about. If we used to be close but we aren't anymore, that's sad to me. And I'm sorry that some people see that as a joke and don't care about the people who used to make them so happy. I've learned this year that you don't need to have a million best friends. A few close friends is a special gift and if you get the chance to have other friends too that's really awesome. I have five specific people that come to mind when I think of a true friend. And they have become my friends within the past two years. Everyone before that had yet to show me their true colors. It's so true that when you are struggling yourself, you will see who really cares about you. Often times it takes some time and explaining but those who want you in their life will fight for you and that's become very evident to me in just the past 3 or so months. I truly believe that the close friends I have today will be the people I talk to in college, that come to my wedding, will be there when I have kids, etc. I know that everyone who's been in my life has had a different affect on me but this affect that I feel now is the best one yet, happiness. It's actual bliss.
I took the ACTs yesterday and I can't wait to see what life has to throw at me next. When I get my scores back, I'll be able to complete my college applications and cruise through the rest of senior year with little to worry about. I can't wait for the next year and half or so to fly by so I can actually start my life. Being out of high school is going to be so different but I'm up for what life has to offer. I'm excited to start in on my post high school education so I can get on to my career.
Random side note: I got a new retainer this week to fix the gap between my top and bottom teeth. It's scary looking and it traps my tongue from touching the back of my teeth while I sleep. But I'm happy it's making my smile all pretty again!
Last but not least, I wanted to mention how much I love my parents. They would seriously do anything for me and I love them so much. I'm so happy they support me in all my life ambitions. I'm trying out for cheerleading tomorrow and my parents are great about being behind me 100%. I love them!

The Glory Days I Can't Relive

 

I think THIS should be our graduation song.. But no.. It's Hakuna Matata...

 



 

I was just thinking the other day how much has changed since the beginning of high school. When I started high school my best Friend was Stephanie Powers. We always had an off and on friendship but everything has changed. In the middle of Freshman year I met Hanna Laws. We were the best of best friends for about two years. We barely talk now. Sophomore year I was just all about boys and I don't know why Sophomore year trumps Junior year in my memory. I guess Sophomore year was still a little laid back. I used to go to a friends house every weekend and we would have movie nights. We had a huge group and we were all awesome friends. Now that group is completly split up and we haven't had all of us together in such a long time. This past summer I got really close with Cassidy Rushing. Haven't talked in probably a month. I was sure that when Teal Fielding and I became really close it would stay that way. Haven't seen him in forever. It's weird how much a summer can change some people. Whether that be in a good way or a bad way. By the beginning of high school I still had no idea what I wanted to do with my life after high school. All through grade school I wanted to be a vet, but that all changed when we had to put our dog down in the 5th grade. I decided I could never go through with doing something like that. By sophomore year I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to write childrens books. Junior year and even part of this year I had it set that I was going to be a high school english teacher. That all changed when on the second day of school when I was asked to share my post high school plans with my english class. I stood and said "I want to be an english teacher!" My teacher looked at me and said "You? Good luck with that." How rude. Plus I realized I've never really had an exceptional relationship with my high school english teachers. As of lately I want to be an elementary school teacher. I still talk to some of my elementary school teachers which is a relationship I hope to build with my students some day. While I was volunteeriing at Riverview last month it really hit me that this would be something I could really enjoy doing every day. Also a career as a teacher would allow me to work until I started a family and then go back to teaching when my kids are in school as well. In the past few years I think my personality has changed as well. I used to be pretty shy believe it or not and I didn't always favor talking to adults. I think I've overcome that fase of life and I can handle a lot more now. I've been through a lot in the past few years and I know I'm a stronger person mentally and emotionally because of that so I'm thankful for those struggles I've gone through. I think I have a pretty good grip on life (as of now) but that will probably all change when graduation gets a little closer. We need to be living life in the present though, not the past. If something is in the past, let it reside there. As high school students we have so much more ahead of us than behind us. That's comforting if you ask me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 





A Smile a Day

People make me laugh :)
I just wanted to express how happy I am right now. I have great friends and I've been nothing but smiles this week/weekend and its a great feeling! On Friday I spent a nice rainy wet evening with Kadira at the football game where we SMASHED Hudson's Bay. Then we stayed for the Camas vs. Union game and stood on the Camas side with some of my friends. What a great game! Camas beat Union and it was so much fun to be on their side. I think I got a little sick from being so cold but it was worth it :)
I also dyed my hair purple... Yeahhhh. :) I love peek-a-boos!
On Saturday I got to hang with Jenna all day! I have missed her! I applied for a job and then we went to lunch with some of our best friends from Camas. We love those boys. They're so much fun. Saturday night we watched good ol' Footloose for the 1000th time. Don't worry we still love it ;)
Aaron is in a new area and the letters take two weeks now so that's kinda sad :/ but that's alright! He loves his companion and his area even though its over 100 degrees everyday. I miss him. A lot.
I finished up volunteering at the elementary school this last week and I just love those kids! I have wanted to be a teacher for a while now but I wanted to be an English teacher. I think I want to teach elementary school now! So we will see what I end up doing :) I think I'll like being a teacher though and I think getting my teaching degree will be fun! I can't wait for college. Yay Rexburg! ;) No really though... I'm way excited to move to Recburg!
I made finished my first bowl in pottery (The red one) and it turned out OK. I hope to make better ones soon! I love that class so much. I'm gonna be sad when it ends next semester :( Maybe I could fit in another semester of it. I hope so!
I hope everyone remembers how much a smile can mean to someone. That's why I love smiling at school :) it's never bad to smile!
Everyone have a great week and stay warm & dry! :)

Somewhere Deep In My Journal

I wrote this a while ago.. and it's just my impression of teenage love. This is why I love writing.


There are many individuals in this world who believe in love at first sight. I do not.

At the young age of 18 there is still so much to learn. But why do our elders insist that we know nothing about our lives just yet? My age may be different than theirs, but my soul may be older. If there is one thing I do know a lot about, it's got to be love. Not just any kind of love. This isn't your typical teenage lust. Not an immature, youthful love. This isn't the kind of love you see just walking down the halls at school. It's a rare love. The kind of love you see in movies that you wish you could have some day. The kind of love you dream of having but you imagine there could never be a guy that amazing. This is the kind of love that makes you so happy that you cry every tear you didn't know you had in you. It is the kind of love that trickles into your thoughts throughout the day and continually consumes your mind. It’s my kind of love that no one really understands. A certain love that is easy to hold on to, but so hard to put on pause.

He has two deep dimples on his cheeks that appeared when he smiled. He has a tiny freckle on the bottom of his left iris. He has tootsie roll brown eyes that squint when he laughs. There's dirt under his fingernails and he's not afraid to get dirty. He wears black shoes with the familiar Nike swoosh imprinted on each side. He has facial hair, but just enough to drive a girl crazy when she kisses him. His smile radiant, yet sharp and contagious. He had the hands of a hardworking man that fit like a puzzle when slipped into yours. He was just tall enough to lean up to and remain on your tiptoes. His short brown hair was soft and flawless.

There was nothing special about either of us but we made it that way. Our smiles both perfectly imperfect could speak wonders. He cared about me in a way that was almost like family, but deeper. He wanted to talk about me and I was his favorite subject. He wanted to hold my hand because that meant something real to him; he never wanted to let it go. There was no escaping the fact that I was mesmerized with this man. I was beautiful in his eyes, and his eyes were the only ones that mattered in mine, for more than one reason. His definition of beauty was not of the typical 18 year old, and that was what got me about him. Even though I had already fallen in love with this dream-perfect man, he had a way of making me want him more and more each time he entered into my mind.

The more I wished, the more I wanted. The more I wanted, the more I got. The more I got, the more I lost.

She Loved Life & It Loved Her Right Back

I believe that you get to your lowest point before you sore.
I have had a great last few days! I started volunteering at Riverview Elementary School in the PE program. I love it! The kids are so nice and cute and just innocent. They are incredibly nice to each other and they can get along with anymore in their class. They talk about the most random things yet they are always smiling and full of energy! I can't wait to be a teacher :) I'm getting pretty into my potter class and I'm thinking its something I could pursue outside of high school. Maybe minor in arts in college. That would be so fun! Definitely something to think about.
One of my good friends Matt left on his mission yesterday! He gave such a great farewell talk. He is such a spiritual giant and that's why we all love being around him. He's not afraid to share his beliefs and loves sharing the gospel. I remember one time we asked him what he was doing one night and he said "Just reading the Book of Mormon!" How awesome. He's going all the way to Cape Verde Africa. He's going to be an amazing missionary.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is so much good in my life. There's not too much to complain about. And even if there is, the good out weighs the bad by far. If I love life, it will love me right back.
Here's to more smiling faces and singing loudly in the car :)