Well this was probably my last Christmas at home as I'll probably be somewhere else next year and ready to welcome home Aaron. Where did the time go?!
Just today I was thinking about high school friendships. It's so interesting that some of them end with a huge blow out and others just drift away. I like when they drift away because I feel like I can always reconnect with that person and I don't have to worry about if they care about me or not since I know they do. The friendships that usually end in a fight are interesting to me too though. It makes me feel like when I'm off and married I'm going to think "What if we were still friends..." Or "Wow whatever happened to them?" We're going to miss this time so much. There are perfect lyrics for this time in our lives.
You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These Are Some Good Times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
Now I don't know if I'm (or anyone for that matter) going to want this time BACK but I know I'm going to miss it. This really is the time of our lives. We still live at home with hardly any worries, our parents are a bedroom away and all our friends are a few streets down.
We go through 13 years of public school and everyone is telling me to "Stay as long as you can" and "Don't take these last few months for granted." Well lets be realistic, of course I'm going to take the last few months of high school for granted and I'm going to try and get out as fast as possible. That's what we all have waited for since like 6th grade. I have at least. Missing high school is a part of life I think and it's going to be different for everyone. Some people may never see their high school peers ever again and some might stay in touch with almost all of them. Most of them will probably marry each other too. In my generation it's a statistic that over 80% of people marry someone they knew when they were growing up. How cool is that?! I think that's awesome.
It was such a great Christmas and I'm so blessed to have an amazing family. I'm also very blessed to have been able to Skype with Aaron for a bit. He's so awesome :) I started reading my first book on my kindle today and I love that thing :) One of the best things about Christmas though is seeing reactions to what people got. My brothers reaction to why I got him was the best. And I'm sure the mailman got a kick out of my high pitch sqealing when he told me there was a package here from downunder. I just can't get over how blessed I am! This life is the best! I hope everyone had a great day celebrating with family, friends, and for most of the world, your boyfriends ;)
On to the New Year!
12.26.2012
12.22.2012
Dreams or Reality
Do you ever wonder if your dreams are trying to tell you something?
I was with three friends and I drove them around all night. As we parked the car to get out and head toward the field they all knew I had piles and piles of newspaper I had to carry. I was waiting for someone to offer to help me but they all sprinted away as if they were trying to get away from me as fast as possible. The girl that was in the car walked away a little slower than the two boys and as she did she looked back at me and began to giggle. I yelled to all of them "Thank you for being so considerate!" She turned back and said "No problem." and continued chasing after the boys. As I tried to carry a load bigger than I could handle, I started trembling and eventually losing control of everything I was holding and it scattered across the parking lot. I burst into tears knowing that everything I was holding was now wet and would be even harder to handle once I managed to pick it up again. Overwhelmed with my friends' actions I just sat on the parking lot concrete where I had fallen and quietly sobbed hoping that someone would come rescue me. As I caught my breath I looked up and saw one of the boys from the car running toward me. My heart rejoiced a little as I thought he was coming to help me. He ran passed me as if I weren't even there. I cried a little harder and gave out the last piece of hope I had. I mustered up the strength in my mind to pick up everything I had dropped and go toward my friends and not bother telling them what had happened. I started with the paper closest to my hands and worked my way around my body. I fumbled a few more times attempting to hold everything at once. When I had every paper crumpled in my arms I slowly walked across the wet ground and saw the other boy that was with me running in my direction. He slowed down as he got closer and asked if I needed help and explained that he had forgotten what all I had to carry. Me being stubborn refused to let him help but while trying to do it all myself, the papers dropped once again. He stared at me as he bent down to gather all that he could. I finally let him help and he took care of everything for me. When I stood up this boy hugged me and we both cried this time. It was incredibly relieving to be reminded that people care about me and that was exactly what I needed.
I don't know why that dream was so powerful to me. I think because I had been debating whether or not being friends with this girl was right or not. There's my answer. I was also thinking to myself that this certain guy friend (the boy in the end) and I were not as close as we used to be. There's another answer.
My conclusion is that we need friends and sometimes we need a little help. It may not be from a friend particularly, it could be parents or Heavenly Father, but let people help you. It's Christmas time and almost everyone has a helping hand to lend out.
Merry Christmas everyone. May your Christmas be filled with joy, Christ, family and of course lots of music :)
I was with three friends and I drove them around all night. As we parked the car to get out and head toward the field they all knew I had piles and piles of newspaper I had to carry. I was waiting for someone to offer to help me but they all sprinted away as if they were trying to get away from me as fast as possible. The girl that was in the car walked away a little slower than the two boys and as she did she looked back at me and began to giggle. I yelled to all of them "Thank you for being so considerate!" She turned back and said "No problem." and continued chasing after the boys. As I tried to carry a load bigger than I could handle, I started trembling and eventually losing control of everything I was holding and it scattered across the parking lot. I burst into tears knowing that everything I was holding was now wet and would be even harder to handle once I managed to pick it up again. Overwhelmed with my friends' actions I just sat on the parking lot concrete where I had fallen and quietly sobbed hoping that someone would come rescue me. As I caught my breath I looked up and saw one of the boys from the car running toward me. My heart rejoiced a little as I thought he was coming to help me. He ran passed me as if I weren't even there. I cried a little harder and gave out the last piece of hope I had. I mustered up the strength in my mind to pick up everything I had dropped and go toward my friends and not bother telling them what had happened. I started with the paper closest to my hands and worked my way around my body. I fumbled a few more times attempting to hold everything at once. When I had every paper crumpled in my arms I slowly walked across the wet ground and saw the other boy that was with me running in my direction. He slowed down as he got closer and asked if I needed help and explained that he had forgotten what all I had to carry. Me being stubborn refused to let him help but while trying to do it all myself, the papers dropped once again. He stared at me as he bent down to gather all that he could. I finally let him help and he took care of everything for me. When I stood up this boy hugged me and we both cried this time. It was incredibly relieving to be reminded that people care about me and that was exactly what I needed.
I don't know why that dream was so powerful to me. I think because I had been debating whether or not being friends with this girl was right or not. There's my answer. I was also thinking to myself that this certain guy friend (the boy in the end) and I were not as close as we used to be. There's another answer.
My conclusion is that we need friends and sometimes we need a little help. It may not be from a friend particularly, it could be parents or Heavenly Father, but let people help you. It's Christmas time and almost everyone has a helping hand to lend out.
Merry Christmas everyone. May your Christmas be filled with joy, Christ, family and of course lots of music :)
11.11.2012
A Night to Remember
I haven't blogged in soo long. It's time.
I don't know if I have much to say on my blog but there's a lot that has happened.
First off I had been spending lots of time with my two best friends; Taylor and Jenna. Taylor left on Wednesday. I won't see him for two years!! How crazy is that. I'm gonna miss him so much! He has been such a great friend to me throughout the years and its going to take some getting use to the fact that he's not across the street anymore. But we have a plan on how we are gonna stay best friends. He will marry Jenna and I will marry Aaron and we will all live next to each other forever. Hey it could happen ;) He's going to be an awesome missionary though so I'm super excited to hear all about his mission :)
Cheer has been taking over my life pretty much and I'm totally okay with that. I love it! I have a game on Wednesday and another game on Saturday. I'm so excited to finally start games!
Wednesday I got to spend time with y best friend as we made apple pie. I never realized how long pies take to make! But they taste amazing so it was worth it.
This year for Thanksgiving we went to the movies to see Skyfall. It was way good! I recommend it :) There's so much to be thankful for so I'll just stick to the basics. I'm more than thankful for my family. Seriously I don't know what I would do without my parents. They are a great source of support for me and I love them so much! I'm also very grateful for Aaron because he's got a big responsibility of dealing with everything I do on a regular basis which I imagine isn't the easiest thing. He's truly amazing for sticking with me for almost two years. Time is getting the best of me lately and it's hitting me that he doesn't have THAT much longer. He'll be home next winter. How insane is that. I can't wait to see him again. I'm thankful for my friends too for constantly making me laugh and helping me remember what's important in life. I couldn't get through a lot without my close friends. I'm thankful for my teachers and church leaders as well. Just like any other student I have the teachers that don't exactly understand me, but then there are certain teachers that I learn so much from and I'll remember the lessons they have taught me forever. My leaders have taught me so much about myself and where I'd like to be 5-10 years from now. They've taught me what it means to be a good member of the church and what I need to do to remain strong. That goes for my EFY counselors as well. They have opened my eyes to so much within the two years that I went to EFY. I could go on and on but my fingers would get tired.
Friday at midnight I won't Black Friday shopping and it wasn't as bad as I thought I was going to be! We got in and out of the store within 15 minutes. Then we went to another store at 4:30 and another around 5:15. Crazy morning but it was worth it! I was so tired by the time noon rolled around when I started my 8 hour shift at Bath and Body Works! I'm thankful that Taira invited me to work with her that day! It was a long but good day.
Yesterday I spent my whole day writing college essays but it paid off because I finished! Thank goodness that is out of the way. After that I spent the night with my parents watching countless episodes of Say Yes To the Dress.. Oops. Haha I'm a little bit in love with that show! :)
All in all it's been a great month of November and I'm so excited that Christmas is just around the corner! Three more weeks of school an it's time for a long break. It's my favorite time of year! Everyone seems to be so much happier around this time and it's a lot easier to pass on a smile.
Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! :)
I don't know if I have much to say on my blog but there's a lot that has happened.
First off I had been spending lots of time with my two best friends; Taylor and Jenna. Taylor left on Wednesday. I won't see him for two years!! How crazy is that. I'm gonna miss him so much! He has been such a great friend to me throughout the years and its going to take some getting use to the fact that he's not across the street anymore. But we have a plan on how we are gonna stay best friends. He will marry Jenna and I will marry Aaron and we will all live next to each other forever. Hey it could happen ;) He's going to be an awesome missionary though so I'm super excited to hear all about his mission :)
Cheer has been taking over my life pretty much and I'm totally okay with that. I love it! I have a game on Wednesday and another game on Saturday. I'm so excited to finally start games!
Wednesday I got to spend time with y best friend as we made apple pie. I never realized how long pies take to make! But they taste amazing so it was worth it.
This year for Thanksgiving we went to the movies to see Skyfall. It was way good! I recommend it :) There's so much to be thankful for so I'll just stick to the basics. I'm more than thankful for my family. Seriously I don't know what I would do without my parents. They are a great source of support for me and I love them so much! I'm also very grateful for Aaron because he's got a big responsibility of dealing with everything I do on a regular basis which I imagine isn't the easiest thing. He's truly amazing for sticking with me for almost two years. Time is getting the best of me lately and it's hitting me that he doesn't have THAT much longer. He'll be home next winter. How insane is that. I can't wait to see him again. I'm thankful for my friends too for constantly making me laugh and helping me remember what's important in life. I couldn't get through a lot without my close friends. I'm thankful for my teachers and church leaders as well. Just like any other student I have the teachers that don't exactly understand me, but then there are certain teachers that I learn so much from and I'll remember the lessons they have taught me forever. My leaders have taught me so much about myself and where I'd like to be 5-10 years from now. They've taught me what it means to be a good member of the church and what I need to do to remain strong. That goes for my EFY counselors as well. They have opened my eyes to so much within the two years that I went to EFY. I could go on and on but my fingers would get tired.
Friday at midnight I won't Black Friday shopping and it wasn't as bad as I thought I was going to be! We got in and out of the store within 15 minutes. Then we went to another store at 4:30 and another around 5:15. Crazy morning but it was worth it! I was so tired by the time noon rolled around when I started my 8 hour shift at Bath and Body Works! I'm thankful that Taira invited me to work with her that day! It was a long but good day.
Yesterday I spent my whole day writing college essays but it paid off because I finished! Thank goodness that is out of the way. After that I spent the night with my parents watching countless episodes of Say Yes To the Dress.. Oops. Haha I'm a little bit in love with that show! :)
All in all it's been a great month of November and I'm so excited that Christmas is just around the corner! Three more weeks of school an it's time for a long break. It's my favorite time of year! Everyone seems to be so much happier around this time and it's a lot easier to pass on a smile.
Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! :)
10.28.2012
I Remember It All Too Well
My title this week is from a Taylor Swift song. It's called "All Too Well". Her new album is quite amazing.
Today as I was talking to one of my close friends and I learned just how betrayed some people can make you feel. Not him, but other people who you try hard to be friends with. Last week when I explained how much has changed in high school, that wasn't to hurt anyone and it was certainly not something I think should be laughed about. If we used to be close but we aren't anymore, that's sad to me. And I'm sorry that some people see that as a joke and don't care about the people who used to make them so happy. I've learned this year that you don't need to have a million best friends. A few close friends is a special gift and if you get the chance to have other friends too that's really awesome. I have five specific people that come to mind when I think of a true friend. And they have become my friends within the past two years. Everyone before that had yet to show me their true colors. It's so true that when you are struggling yourself, you will see who really cares about you. Often times it takes some time and explaining but those who want you in their life will fight for you and that's become very evident to me in just the past 3 or so months. I truly believe that the close friends I have today will be the people I talk to in college, that come to my wedding, will be there when I have kids, etc. I know that everyone who's been in my life has had a different affect on me but this affect that I feel now is the best one yet, happiness. It's actual bliss.
I took the ACTs yesterday and I can't wait to see what life has to throw at me next. When I get my scores back, I'll be able to complete my college applications and cruise through the rest of senior year with little to worry about. I can't wait for the next year and half or so to fly by so I can actually start my life. Being out of high school is going to be so different but I'm up for what life has to offer. I'm excited to start in on my post high school education so I can get on to my career.
Random side note: I got a new retainer this week to fix the gap between my top and bottom teeth. It's scary looking and it traps my tongue from touching the back of my teeth while I sleep. But I'm happy it's making my smile all pretty again!
Last but not least, I wanted to mention how much I love my parents. They would seriously do anything for me and I love them so much. I'm so happy they support me in all my life ambitions. I'm trying out for cheerleading tomorrow and my parents are great about being behind me 100%. I love them!
Today as I was talking to one of my close friends and I learned just how betrayed some people can make you feel. Not him, but other people who you try hard to be friends with. Last week when I explained how much has changed in high school, that wasn't to hurt anyone and it was certainly not something I think should be laughed about. If we used to be close but we aren't anymore, that's sad to me. And I'm sorry that some people see that as a joke and don't care about the people who used to make them so happy. I've learned this year that you don't need to have a million best friends. A few close friends is a special gift and if you get the chance to have other friends too that's really awesome. I have five specific people that come to mind when I think of a true friend. And they have become my friends within the past two years. Everyone before that had yet to show me their true colors. It's so true that when you are struggling yourself, you will see who really cares about you. Often times it takes some time and explaining but those who want you in their life will fight for you and that's become very evident to me in just the past 3 or so months. I truly believe that the close friends I have today will be the people I talk to in college, that come to my wedding, will be there when I have kids, etc. I know that everyone who's been in my life has had a different affect on me but this affect that I feel now is the best one yet, happiness. It's actual bliss.
I took the ACTs yesterday and I can't wait to see what life has to throw at me next. When I get my scores back, I'll be able to complete my college applications and cruise through the rest of senior year with little to worry about. I can't wait for the next year and half or so to fly by so I can actually start my life. Being out of high school is going to be so different but I'm up for what life has to offer. I'm excited to start in on my post high school education so I can get on to my career.
Random side note: I got a new retainer this week to fix the gap between my top and bottom teeth. It's scary looking and it traps my tongue from touching the back of my teeth while I sleep. But I'm happy it's making my smile all pretty again!
Last but not least, I wanted to mention how much I love my parents. They would seriously do anything for me and I love them so much. I'm so happy they support me in all my life ambitions. I'm trying out for cheerleading tomorrow and my parents are great about being behind me 100%. I love them!
10.20.2012
The Glory Days I Can't Relive
I think THIS should be our graduation song.. But no.. It's Hakuna Matata...
I was just thinking the other day how much has changed since the beginning of high school. When I started high school my best Friend was Stephanie Powers. We always had an off and on friendship but everything has changed. In the middle of Freshman year I met Hanna Laws. We were the best of best friends for about two years. We barely talk now. Sophomore year I was just all about boys and I don't know why Sophomore year trumps Junior year in my memory. I guess Sophomore year was still a little laid back. I used to go to a friends house every weekend and we would have movie nights. We had a huge group and we were all awesome friends. Now that group is completly split up and we haven't had all of us together in such a long time. This past summer I got really close with Cassidy Rushing. Haven't talked in probably a month. I was sure that when Teal Fielding and I became really close it would stay that way. Haven't seen him in forever. It's weird how much a summer can change some people. Whether that be in a good way or a bad way. By the beginning of high school I still had no idea what I wanted to do with my life after high school. All through grade school I wanted to be a vet, but that all changed when we had to put our dog down in the 5th grade. I decided I could never go through with doing something like that. By sophomore year I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to write childrens books. Junior year and even part of this year I had it set that I was going to be a high school english teacher. That all changed when on the second day of school when I was asked to share my post high school plans with my english class. I stood and said "I want to be an english teacher!" My teacher looked at me and said "You? Good luck with that." How rude. Plus I realized I've never really had an exceptional relationship with my high school english teachers. As of lately I want to be an elementary school teacher. I still talk to some of my elementary school teachers which is a relationship I hope to build with my students some day. While I was volunteeriing at Riverview last month it really hit me that this would be something I could really enjoy doing every day. Also a career as a teacher would allow me to work until I started a family and then go back to teaching when my kids are in school as well. In the past few years I think my personality has changed as well. I used to be pretty shy believe it or not and I didn't always favor talking to adults. I think I've overcome that fase of life and I can handle a lot more now. I've been through a lot in the past few years and I know I'm a stronger person mentally and emotionally because of that so I'm thankful for those struggles I've gone through. I think I have a pretty good grip on life (as of now) but that will probably all change when graduation gets a little closer. We need to be living life in the present though, not the past. If something is in the past, let it reside there. As high school students we have so much more ahead of us than behind us. That's comforting if you ask me.
10.14.2012
A Smile a Day
People make me laugh :)
I just wanted to express how happy I am right now. I have great friends and I've been nothing but smiles this week/weekend and its a great feeling! On Friday I spent a nice rainy wet evening with Kadira at the football game where we SMASHED Hudson's Bay. Then we stayed for the Camas vs. Union game and stood on the Camas side with some of my friends. What a great game! Camas beat Union and it was so much fun to be on their side. I think I got a little sick from being so cold but it was worth it :)
I also dyed my hair purple... Yeahhhh. :) I love peek-a-boos!
On Saturday I got to hang with Jenna all day! I have missed her! I applied for a job and then we went to lunch with some of our best friends from Camas. We love those boys. They're so much fun. Saturday night we watched good ol' Footloose for the 1000th time. Don't worry we still love it ;)
Aaron is in a new area and the letters take two weeks now so that's kinda sad :/ but that's alright! He loves his companion and his area even though its over 100 degrees everyday. I miss him. A lot.
I finished up volunteering at the elementary school this last week and I just love those kids! I have wanted to be a teacher for a while now but I wanted to be an English teacher. I think I want to teach elementary school now! So we will see what I end up doing :) I think I'll like being a teacher though and I think getting my teaching degree will be fun! I can't wait for college. Yay Rexburg! ;) No really though... I'm way excited to move to Recburg!
I made finished my first bowl in pottery (The red one) and it turned out OK. I hope to make better ones soon! I love that class so much. I'm gonna be sad when it ends next semester :( Maybe I could fit in another semester of it. I hope so!
I hope everyone remembers how much a smile can mean to someone. That's why I love smiling at school :) it's never bad to smile!
Everyone have a great week and stay warm & dry! :)
I just wanted to express how happy I am right now. I have great friends and I've been nothing but smiles this week/weekend and its a great feeling! On Friday I spent a nice rainy wet evening with Kadira at the football game where we SMASHED Hudson's Bay. Then we stayed for the Camas vs. Union game and stood on the Camas side with some of my friends. What a great game! Camas beat Union and it was so much fun to be on their side. I think I got a little sick from being so cold but it was worth it :)
I also dyed my hair purple... Yeahhhh. :) I love peek-a-boos!
On Saturday I got to hang with Jenna all day! I have missed her! I applied for a job and then we went to lunch with some of our best friends from Camas. We love those boys. They're so much fun. Saturday night we watched good ol' Footloose for the 1000th time. Don't worry we still love it ;)
Aaron is in a new area and the letters take two weeks now so that's kinda sad :/ but that's alright! He loves his companion and his area even though its over 100 degrees everyday. I miss him. A lot.
I finished up volunteering at the elementary school this last week and I just love those kids! I have wanted to be a teacher for a while now but I wanted to be an English teacher. I think I want to teach elementary school now! So we will see what I end up doing :) I think I'll like being a teacher though and I think getting my teaching degree will be fun! I can't wait for college. Yay Rexburg! ;) No really though... I'm way excited to move to Recburg!
I made finished my first bowl in pottery (The red one) and it turned out OK. I hope to make better ones soon! I love that class so much. I'm gonna be sad when it ends next semester :( Maybe I could fit in another semester of it. I hope so!
I hope everyone remembers how much a smile can mean to someone. That's why I love smiling at school :) it's never bad to smile!
Everyone have a great week and stay warm & dry! :)
10.07.2012
Somewhere Deep In My Journal
I wrote this a while ago.. and it's just my impression of teenage love. This is why I love writing.
There are many individuals in this world who believe in love at first sight. I do not.
At the young age of 18 there is still so much to learn. But why do our elders insist that we know nothing about our lives just yet? My age may be different than theirs, but my soul may be older. If there is one thing I do know a lot about, it's got to be love. Not just any kind of love. This isn't your typical teenage lust. Not an immature, youthful love. This isn't the kind of love you see just walking down the halls at school. It's a rare love. The kind of love you see in movies that you wish you could have some day. The kind of love you dream of having but you imagine there could never be a guy that amazing. This is the kind of love that makes you so happy that you cry every tear you didn't know you had in you. It is the kind of love that trickles into your thoughts throughout the day and continually consumes your mind. It’s my kind of love that no one really understands. A certain love that is easy to hold on to, but so hard to put on pause.
He has two deep dimples on his cheeks that appeared when he smiled. He has a tiny freckle on the bottom of his left iris. He has tootsie roll brown eyes that squint when he laughs. There's dirt under his fingernails and he's not afraid to get dirty. He wears black shoes with the familiar Nike swoosh imprinted on each side. He has facial hair, but just enough to drive a girl crazy when she kisses him. His smile radiant, yet sharp and contagious. He had the hands of a hardworking man that fit like a puzzle when slipped into yours. He was just tall enough to lean up to and remain on your tiptoes. His short brown hair was soft and flawless.
There was nothing special about either of us but we made it that way. Our smiles both perfectly imperfect could speak wonders. He cared about me in a way that was almost like family, but deeper. He wanted to talk about me and I was his favorite subject. He wanted to hold my hand because that meant something real to him; he never wanted to let it go. There was no escaping the fact that I was mesmerized with this man. I was beautiful in his eyes, and his eyes were the only ones that mattered in mine, for more than one reason. His definition of beauty was not of the typical 18 year old, and that was what got me about him. Even though I had already fallen in love with this dream-perfect man, he had a way of making me want him more and more each time he entered into my mind.
The more I wished, the more I wanted. The more I wanted, the more I got. The more I got, the more I lost.
There are many individuals in this world who believe in love at first sight. I do not.
At the young age of 18 there is still so much to learn. But why do our elders insist that we know nothing about our lives just yet? My age may be different than theirs, but my soul may be older. If there is one thing I do know a lot about, it's got to be love. Not just any kind of love. This isn't your typical teenage lust. Not an immature, youthful love. This isn't the kind of love you see just walking down the halls at school. It's a rare love. The kind of love you see in movies that you wish you could have some day. The kind of love you dream of having but you imagine there could never be a guy that amazing. This is the kind of love that makes you so happy that you cry every tear you didn't know you had in you. It is the kind of love that trickles into your thoughts throughout the day and continually consumes your mind. It’s my kind of love that no one really understands. A certain love that is easy to hold on to, but so hard to put on pause.
He has two deep dimples on his cheeks that appeared when he smiled. He has a tiny freckle on the bottom of his left iris. He has tootsie roll brown eyes that squint when he laughs. There's dirt under his fingernails and he's not afraid to get dirty. He wears black shoes with the familiar Nike swoosh imprinted on each side. He has facial hair, but just enough to drive a girl crazy when she kisses him. His smile radiant, yet sharp and contagious. He had the hands of a hardworking man that fit like a puzzle when slipped into yours. He was just tall enough to lean up to and remain on your tiptoes. His short brown hair was soft and flawless.
There was nothing special about either of us but we made it that way. Our smiles both perfectly imperfect could speak wonders. He cared about me in a way that was almost like family, but deeper. He wanted to talk about me and I was his favorite subject. He wanted to hold my hand because that meant something real to him; he never wanted to let it go. There was no escaping the fact that I was mesmerized with this man. I was beautiful in his eyes, and his eyes were the only ones that mattered in mine, for more than one reason. His definition of beauty was not of the typical 18 year old, and that was what got me about him. Even though I had already fallen in love with this dream-perfect man, he had a way of making me want him more and more each time he entered into my mind.
The more I wished, the more I wanted. The more I wanted, the more I got. The more I got, the more I lost.
10.02.2012
She Loved Life & It Loved Her Right Back
I believe that you get to your lowest point before you sore.
I have had a great last few days! I started volunteering at Riverview Elementary School in the PE program. I love it! The kids are so nice and cute and just innocent. They are incredibly nice to each other and they can get along with anymore in their class. They talk about the most random things yet they are always smiling and full of energy! I can't wait to be a teacher :) I'm getting pretty into my potter class and I'm thinking its something I could pursue outside of high school. Maybe minor in arts in college. That would be so fun! Definitely something to think about.
One of my good friends Matt left on his mission yesterday! He gave such a great farewell talk. He is such a spiritual giant and that's why we all love being around him. He's not afraid to share his beliefs and loves sharing the gospel. I remember one time we asked him what he was doing one night and he said "Just reading the Book of Mormon!" How awesome. He's going all the way to Cape Verde Africa. He's going to be an amazing missionary.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is so much good in my life. There's not too much to complain about. And even if there is, the good out weighs the bad by far. If I love life, it will love me right back.
Here's to more smiling faces and singing loudly in the car :)
I have had a great last few days! I started volunteering at Riverview Elementary School in the PE program. I love it! The kids are so nice and cute and just innocent. They are incredibly nice to each other and they can get along with anymore in their class. They talk about the most random things yet they are always smiling and full of energy! I can't wait to be a teacher :) I'm getting pretty into my potter class and I'm thinking its something I could pursue outside of high school. Maybe minor in arts in college. That would be so fun! Definitely something to think about.
One of my good friends Matt left on his mission yesterday! He gave such a great farewell talk. He is such a spiritual giant and that's why we all love being around him. He's not afraid to share his beliefs and loves sharing the gospel. I remember one time we asked him what he was doing one night and he said "Just reading the Book of Mormon!" How awesome. He's going all the way to Cape Verde Africa. He's going to be an amazing missionary.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is so much good in my life. There's not too much to complain about. And even if there is, the good out weighs the bad by far. If I love life, it will love me right back.
Here's to more smiling faces and singing loudly in the car :)
9.22.2012
Things That Matter, Things That Don't
My title this week is from a Rascal Flatts song. They have taught me many lessons in life. I really love country music.
I've always wondered how many people actually read my blogs.. Or if I'm just posting for a hand full of people. But that doesn't matter.
What DOES matter is that I found something new that I love; pottery. I love my pottery class and if I could do that at school all day, I would. I've never been into art or drawing or any of that but I love hands on learning. I think I could be really good at it too. I love writing and I have for a long time but I've always felt there were people who were so much better than me. Yeah there are people who are better than me at throwing in pottery class, but I can make whatever I want. If I wanted I could throw a piece of clay on the bat and call it my own. Writing is much more complex than that but that's also what intrigues me about it. I can write anything I want on a piece of paper and if I don't like it, I'll rip it up and toss it in the trash. I don't really know where I was going with that whole statement but basically I love my pottery class :)
Another thing that matters; my PE class. I love that class too. As much as I hate being sweaty, and smelly girls, I love exercising to a specific work out. We did an agility test on Thursday and it was awesome! I love being sore the next day because that means I did something right, I improved. Friday we went and did work outs on the machines and I could run on a treadmill for hours if I didn't have a class afterward. Most people like to go to go running in their own as their work out but I guess I just like structure in my workout. So my class is great for that.
Also, mail matters. The mail matters as lot. Usually there's a day that I'm super disappointed cause I was expecting something then there's a day where I'm just ecstatic with what I've receive. Obviously letters from Australia are first on that list ;) I love how supportive my family is with everything I do or want to do. I don't have many friends who will gladly admit that they support my decisions and my parents are awesome at that. They have to deal with a lot from me being that my boyfriend is 13,000 miles away, but we manage to be on good terms every night. I love my parents!
Life lessons of country:
Life is a highway
God is great, (root) bear is good, and people are crazy
You're gonna make it
People throw rocks at things that shine
Life's like a novel, with the end ripped out
You might think til you break 'cause it's all you can take
Take what's you're given before its gone
What hurts the most is feeling so close
Put your best face in for the world, fake another smile and just pretend
Life throws you curves, but you'll learn to swerve
Sunday was a day of rest, now it's one more day of progress
You think you're lost, but you're not lost on your own, you're not alone
She's a beautiful mess
Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you. Go to work, do your best and don't outsmart your common sense. Never let your prayin' knees get lazy, and love like crazy.
I've always wondered how many people actually read my blogs.. Or if I'm just posting for a hand full of people. But that doesn't matter.
What DOES matter is that I found something new that I love; pottery. I love my pottery class and if I could do that at school all day, I would. I've never been into art or drawing or any of that but I love hands on learning. I think I could be really good at it too. I love writing and I have for a long time but I've always felt there were people who were so much better than me. Yeah there are people who are better than me at throwing in pottery class, but I can make whatever I want. If I wanted I could throw a piece of clay on the bat and call it my own. Writing is much more complex than that but that's also what intrigues me about it. I can write anything I want on a piece of paper and if I don't like it, I'll rip it up and toss it in the trash. I don't really know where I was going with that whole statement but basically I love my pottery class :)
Another thing that matters; my PE class. I love that class too. As much as I hate being sweaty, and smelly girls, I love exercising to a specific work out. We did an agility test on Thursday and it was awesome! I love being sore the next day because that means I did something right, I improved. Friday we went and did work outs on the machines and I could run on a treadmill for hours if I didn't have a class afterward. Most people like to go to go running in their own as their work out but I guess I just like structure in my workout. So my class is great for that.
Also, mail matters. The mail matters as lot. Usually there's a day that I'm super disappointed cause I was expecting something then there's a day where I'm just ecstatic with what I've receive. Obviously letters from Australia are first on that list ;) I love how supportive my family is with everything I do or want to do. I don't have many friends who will gladly admit that they support my decisions and my parents are awesome at that. They have to deal with a lot from me being that my boyfriend is 13,000 miles away, but we manage to be on good terms every night. I love my parents!
Life lessons of country:
Life is a highway
God is great, (root) bear is good, and people are crazy
You're gonna make it
People throw rocks at things that shine
Life's like a novel, with the end ripped out
You might think til you break 'cause it's all you can take
Take what's you're given before its gone
What hurts the most is feeling so close
Put your best face in for the world, fake another smile and just pretend
Life throws you curves, but you'll learn to swerve
Sunday was a day of rest, now it's one more day of progress
You think you're lost, but you're not lost on your own, you're not alone
She's a beautiful mess
Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you. Go to work, do your best and don't outsmart your common sense. Never let your prayin' knees get lazy, and love like crazy.
9.16.2012
My Kinda Happy
So I decided on Friday when I woke up that I wasn't going to let anyone ruin my day. And on one did! Friday was a great day. I had a great day at school, went boating with my youth group and came home to a car of my very own parked in my driveway! It was an awesome thing I decided on that fine Friday morning. I did the same on Saturday and I want to do that everyday. People are mean sometimes and that's just life, but you shouldn't let that define you. Define yourself. Be yourself and do what you think is right. Keep your head up, keep your heart strong <3
9.08.2012
What.
I need to vent and what better place to do it than where the whole world can see? ;)
I hate when people who are important to you, forget your birthday.
I hate when people post their scams up on Craigslist.
I hate spending money.
I hate waking up.
I hate washing make up off my face before bed. They need to invent a better, quicker way for that.
I hate when you feel like some of your really close friends are ganging up on you.
I hate when the mail comes at 6pm.
I hate long lines at the post office.
I hate when I pull into the school parking lot an there are no more close spaces.
I hate when you're about to do something then you forget what.
I hate feeling like I can't help someone.
I hate feeling like my advice/help is unwanted.
I hate when I'm writing a letter and my pen starts to run out of ink so only half the letters come out.
I hate when you try to record something on the DVR but then you look again and it's not there. That's always when the show is already over too :P
I hate when people feel bad for me for the things that I'm going through. I don't need to milk my problems to everyone and not everything I do needs to relate to that one problem.
I hate being thirsty.
I hate when people hate me that don't even know me... So annoying.
I hate when people don't believe me.
I hate when people ask for you opinion then get mad at the truth.
I hate when boys hit on you at football games. Okay no, that's just funny. Poor boys.
I hate when shoes hurt my feet.
I hate when other people make me late.
And I hate that all of these things are just a part of life. These are just some of the things that occurred the first three days of school. I could go on forever and ever about what I love but just gotta vent sometimes right? Bad things happen, but amazing things happen too. Don't dwell on the bad. Look for the good in a situation. Laugh at the dumb things you do and laugh when things are weird. Smiling constantly isn't going to cause anything bad, if anything, you'll brighten someone else's day. We can't direct the wind but we can adjust the sails. So stop looking for the storm and look closely for the sunlight :)
Rant finished.
I hate when people who are important to you, forget your birthday.
I hate when people post their scams up on Craigslist.
I hate spending money.
I hate waking up.
I hate washing make up off my face before bed. They need to invent a better, quicker way for that.
I hate when you feel like some of your really close friends are ganging up on you.
I hate when the mail comes at 6pm.
I hate long lines at the post office.
I hate when I pull into the school parking lot an there are no more close spaces.
I hate when you're about to do something then you forget what.
I hate feeling like I can't help someone.
I hate feeling like my advice/help is unwanted.
I hate when I'm writing a letter and my pen starts to run out of ink so only half the letters come out.
I hate when you try to record something on the DVR but then you look again and it's not there. That's always when the show is already over too :P
I hate when people feel bad for me for the things that I'm going through. I don't need to milk my problems to everyone and not everything I do needs to relate to that one problem.
I hate being thirsty.
I hate when people hate me that don't even know me... So annoying.
I hate when people don't believe me.
I hate when people ask for you opinion then get mad at the truth.
I hate when boys hit on you at football games. Okay no, that's just funny. Poor boys.
I hate when shoes hurt my feet.
I hate when other people make me late.
And I hate that all of these things are just a part of life. These are just some of the things that occurred the first three days of school. I could go on forever and ever about what I love but just gotta vent sometimes right? Bad things happen, but amazing things happen too. Don't dwell on the bad. Look for the good in a situation. Laugh at the dumb things you do and laugh when things are weird. Smiling constantly isn't going to cause anything bad, if anything, you'll brighten someone else's day. We can't direct the wind but we can adjust the sails. So stop looking for the storm and look closely for the sunlight :)
Rant finished.
9.03.2012
The Surreal Life
Well senior year starts tomorrow and this is what every kid waits for, for 12 years; their 13th year of schooling. How weird to think that in 9 months my high school days will be completely behind me. Tomorrow is going to be so surreal.
I remember when I started kindergarten and my birthday was on the very first day of school just like it will be this year. I remember that my best friend was Ciara Beard and she told me she was moving to Ireland at the end of the year. Come to find out last year she has lived 10 minutes away me my whole life. I remember 1st grade and starting to play soccer. That was when my best friend was Dakota Baker. She was a mean little thing. She was my best friend in 2nd grade too. I remember she would suck her thumb and twirl her hair until it would fall out because it was a dread lock which drove me crazy. I remember 3rd grade when my best friend was Hannah Stoddard and we had such a simple strong friendship. I remember how the girls at recess would go crazy over the two "hunks" of the school; Rylan Berriman and Greg Ryan. We even had an "I love Rylan" club. Those were the days. I remember 4th grade when Madisen Phillips and Hannah were my best friends and we did everything together. Maddie and Hannah with their straight across bangs and me with my long wavy hair. 5th grade was the best; outdoor school. I remember Maddie and Greg were "dating" and they were the coolest kids in the 5th grade. I remember writing a note to Rylan and leaving it on the seat he sat in on the bus. It said "I like you. Love, you don't know how" I remember I was soo embarrassed because I accidentally put "how" instead of "who". 6th grade was a fun one. I remember being in first period having a splits contest and I ripped my kaki pants all the way down to my knee. I don't know how I pulled that one off all day. Hannah Pongon was my best friend. 7th grade was when I got super into band and got serious about it. My best friends were Theo Brosnan, Kenzee Batman, Sierra Barrett, Deja Nicholas and Hannah Pongon. 8th grade is when I thought I was the best at the flute and I was so proud that I could actually compete against the two best people in the flute section for 1st chair; Saige Hawthorne and Daniesha Cohen. I used to get so mad when we would tie on tests because they never let me sit in that first chair to claim my title. That was 8th grade drama. I had the BEST teacher I've ever had; Mr.Smith. I still go see him sometimes. He was the most real teacher out there and wasn't afraid to tell us if we were doing something dumb or headed down the wrong path in life. Freshman year was scary for me. I had no friends going into freshman year because of an ordeal that happened during 8th grade summer. That was tough. But I found some great friends from that experience; Stephanie Powers, Heather Carroll, Rachael Linson and Clarisa Witherup. They've all been best friends their whole lives, yet they treated me as an equal. Sophomore year was great. I had great classes and great friends. That's when I met Aaron and I became less shy. I had always been a shy person growing up, and I still am a little bit, but I'm getting better! Junior year was so bittersweet. So much happened. But I'm so glad I had great friends in my classes to help me out. Sami Chapman, Anna and one of my best friends last year, Austin Hass gave me so many good laughs. I can't thank them enough for pulling me through some boring times in English class. I loved my seminary class and I changed a lot of stuff about myself last year. I think I found out what's important in life and what's not. I learned so much that'll help me through senior year. I said it on Facebook already but really, life is a whole lot easier once you learn to accept the apologies that you never got. There are always lessons to be learned but that's why I still have a year left in high school. It's going to be a great year and I'm looking forward to a lot of things. I hope everyone has a great year and first day of school. I hope we can remember who we are and not judge others so much. I hope we can keep a smile on our faces and push through hard times. Let's do this class of 2013!
I remember when I started kindergarten and my birthday was on the very first day of school just like it will be this year. I remember that my best friend was Ciara Beard and she told me she was moving to Ireland at the end of the year. Come to find out last year she has lived 10 minutes away me my whole life. I remember 1st grade and starting to play soccer. That was when my best friend was Dakota Baker. She was a mean little thing. She was my best friend in 2nd grade too. I remember she would suck her thumb and twirl her hair until it would fall out because it was a dread lock which drove me crazy. I remember 3rd grade when my best friend was Hannah Stoddard and we had such a simple strong friendship. I remember how the girls at recess would go crazy over the two "hunks" of the school; Rylan Berriman and Greg Ryan. We even had an "I love Rylan" club. Those were the days. I remember 4th grade when Madisen Phillips and Hannah were my best friends and we did everything together. Maddie and Hannah with their straight across bangs and me with my long wavy hair. 5th grade was the best; outdoor school. I remember Maddie and Greg were "dating" and they were the coolest kids in the 5th grade. I remember writing a note to Rylan and leaving it on the seat he sat in on the bus. It said "I like you. Love, you don't know how" I remember I was soo embarrassed because I accidentally put "how" instead of "who". 6th grade was a fun one. I remember being in first period having a splits contest and I ripped my kaki pants all the way down to my knee. I don't know how I pulled that one off all day. Hannah Pongon was my best friend. 7th grade was when I got super into band and got serious about it. My best friends were Theo Brosnan, Kenzee Batman, Sierra Barrett, Deja Nicholas and Hannah Pongon. 8th grade is when I thought I was the best at the flute and I was so proud that I could actually compete against the two best people in the flute section for 1st chair; Saige Hawthorne and Daniesha Cohen. I used to get so mad when we would tie on tests because they never let me sit in that first chair to claim my title. That was 8th grade drama. I had the BEST teacher I've ever had; Mr.Smith. I still go see him sometimes. He was the most real teacher out there and wasn't afraid to tell us if we were doing something dumb or headed down the wrong path in life. Freshman year was scary for me. I had no friends going into freshman year because of an ordeal that happened during 8th grade summer. That was tough. But I found some great friends from that experience; Stephanie Powers, Heather Carroll, Rachael Linson and Clarisa Witherup. They've all been best friends their whole lives, yet they treated me as an equal. Sophomore year was great. I had great classes and great friends. That's when I met Aaron and I became less shy. I had always been a shy person growing up, and I still am a little bit, but I'm getting better! Junior year was so bittersweet. So much happened. But I'm so glad I had great friends in my classes to help me out. Sami Chapman, Anna and one of my best friends last year, Austin Hass gave me so many good laughs. I can't thank them enough for pulling me through some boring times in English class. I loved my seminary class and I changed a lot of stuff about myself last year. I think I found out what's important in life and what's not. I learned so much that'll help me through senior year. I said it on Facebook already but really, life is a whole lot easier once you learn to accept the apologies that you never got. There are always lessons to be learned but that's why I still have a year left in high school. It's going to be a great year and I'm looking forward to a lot of things. I hope everyone has a great year and first day of school. I hope we can remember who we are and not judge others so much. I hope we can keep a smile on our faces and push through hard times. Let's do this class of 2013!
8.26.2012
The Beginning of the End
I don't know if I'll get a chance to post again before senior year starts. So here's what happened this week.
-I got my senior pictures taken
-I got a package from Aaron!! Pictures below
Camo hat! He said "The hat is because you look crazy cute in my hat :)"
I got really realllly excited when I saw this on my front porch on Thursday morning :):)
Some things for me to scrapbook. Missionary journals, MTC ID, tickets and boarding passes
A Polynesian lava lava
Two necklaces. The green one was given to Aaron at the beginning of his mission and you are to give it to one person you are very close with. The dolphin one is made of bone and apparently is really rare to find for a girl.
Australian flag! Now my wall is all foreign ;)
I explored with some new music this week (Old to others, new to me) and I found some really awesome songs. Brace yourself, there are a lot of songs.
My cousin Jeremy passed away this week as well. I don't wanna write too much about it but we are gonna be down in California next week for the memorial service. We love you Jeremy!
8.17.2012
My Last Piece of Bliss
Right now I'm really missing the touch of your hands. The warmth that radiated from your heart to my heart. The simple touch that gave me butterflies. I miss how we just went together perfectly. I miss my best friend. Having someone to talk to at any time of day. I miss hearing how much you love me, cause letters aren't the same. I miss the slight pain I would get in my cheeks because you made me laugh and smile so much. My abs would be sore by the end of the night. As sad as it is, I miss you tickling me and me fighting to get away. I miss your tight hugs and the way you could throw me over your shoulder. I miss the feeling of your fingers struggling to get to the tips of my hair. You would apologize every time. I miss the reaction I would get when I wrapped my arm around your arm an hugged it. I've never seen someone try so hard not to smile :) I miss how much you loved having me in your arms. The way you would hold me and protect me. I miss how you would never let me down, not even for the smallest thing. I miss driving all around town with the windows down and a good country song rolling to the summer air. I miss spending time with you up on Larch Mountain and all the things we talked about. We always had so much to say. I miss having you look at me right in the eyes and still loving me at the end of the day. I miss the days that you would call and say "10 minutes" and I always freaked out because I never thought I'd be ready. But I always was, and you were so amazed. I miss spontaneous hang outs and long talks on my porch swing. I miss how before you left every night you would ask "Can I have this dance?" even if there was no music. I miss serious moments like when you left for Idaho, Jersey and your mission. All you did was hold me and that was all I ever needed. I remember crying and you held me by the shoulders, looked me in the eyes, wiped a tear from my face, smiled and said "Belle, please don't cry anymore." I miss how you always knew if something was wrong and we could talk about it. I miss the hint of old spice I could smell in your truck. I miss holding hands and just being ourselves. I miss the sound of our laughs erupting after something funny was said. I miss how after every embarrassing thing I did you would follow it up with ":O that was the cutest thing I've ever seen!" I'm sure I turned red every single time too. That was happiness. I miss you and your love. I miss my constant friend, my supporter, my everything.
8.09.2012
The Nine Values
Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice & Accountability, Good Works, Integrity, Virtue, and Patience
For a while now I have wondered why patience is not one of the values they teach young girls in church. Patience has a lot to do with how you handle things, what you do with your time and how you choose to react to certain struggling situations. Patience is definitely something we all have to work toward, it's not as easy as it sounds. I think I have a pretty good idea of patience by now. But that doesn't mean I can't become more patient. I've learned that a lot of times patience just requires you to keep your mouth shut so you don't say something you will regret saying. Being patient is probably one of the hardest things to do, but it always seems to pay off.
Yesterday was Aaron's six month mark! Really, it went pretty fast for the most part. The first 2-3 months were killer though. I think summer made the time pass really fast which is a good thing. I think the longest part of his whole mission will be the last six months. The next year will be good, considering it's senior year. I'm so excited to be at the top of the high school and just breeze through the year. I miss him so much! Gahh.
I'm soo in love with her dress!!
Love him!
<3
Sometimes...
Small town <3
Castle!
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